July 22, 1997
My dearest Catherine,


I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always remind me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits has been coming less often, and I feel sometimes the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.


I am trying though. At night when I’m alone I call for you and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful. I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that the others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth, “Better than my own heart.”


I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for and, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.


I raise my hand and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft and I wonder for a moment if you’ll pull back, but of course, you don’t. You never have and it is at times like this that I know my purpose is in life.


I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.


But then as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing until there is nothing left but the two of us.


I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you gave me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that it is impossible.


And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about that moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.


Garret


(---Message In A Bottle, Nicholas Sparks)
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Message No. 1
Dear Catherine,
I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in so long. I feel I’ve been lost. No bearings, no compass. I kept crashing into things, a little crazy I guess. I’ve never been lost before. You were my true north. I could always steer for home when you were my home. Forgive me for being so angry when you left.


I still think some mistake’s been made and I’m waiting for God to take it back. But I’m doing better now. The work helps me most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always held me like a child. All I remember from that dream is a feeling of peace. I woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it alive as long as I could.


I’m writing to tell you that I’m on a journey towards that peace. And to tell you I’m sorry about many things.


I’m sorry I didn’t take better care of you so that you never spent one minute being cold or scared or sick. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to find the words to tell you what I was feeling. I’m sorry I never fixed the screen door. I fixed it now. I’m sorry I ever fought with you. I’m sorry I didn’t apologize more. I was too proud. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you more compliments on everything you wore and everyway you fixed your hair.


I’m sorry I didn’t hold on to you with so much strength that even God couldn’t pull you away. All my love, G.


Message No. 2
Dear Catherine,


There isn’t any hour of my life without you in it. I mend the boats, test them and all the while the memories come in like the tide. I was thinking today of when we were young and you left our world for a bigger world. I was a lot more scared that I would admit. I fought my fear by telling myself you’d come back someday and trying to think of the first thing I’d say to you when I see you again. I must have tried out a hundred possibilities.


What did I finally say? Not much. My mouth wouldn’t work except to kiss you.


And when you said, “I’m here to stay,” that said it all. Well, I’m doing it again. I keep imagining what I’d say to you if somehow you came back.


Message No. 3 (From Catherine)
To all the ships at sea and all the ports of call. To my family and to all friends and strangers –


This is a message and a prayer. The message is that my travels taught me a great truth. I already had what everyone is searching for and few ever find. The one person in the world who I was born to love forever. A person like me. Of the Outer Banks and the blue Atlantic mystery.


A person rich in simple treasures, self-made, self-taught, a harbor where I am forever home. And no wind or trouble or even a little death can knock down this house. The prayer is that everyone in the world can know this kind of love and be healed by it. If my prayer is heard, then there will be an erasing of all guilt and regret, and an end to all anger. Please, God. Amen.


Message No. 4
Dear Catherine,
My life began when I found you. And I thought it had ended when I failed to save you. I thought that hanging on to your memory was keeping us both alive. But I was wrong. A woman named Theresa showed me that if I was brave enough to open my heart, I could love again, no matter how terrible my grief. She mad me realize I was only half alive. It scared me and it hurt.


And I didn’t know how much I needed her until the night I watched her fly away. When that airplane took off, I felt something inside of me tear away. And I knew I should have stopped her. I should have followed her home.


And now tomorrow I‘m going to sail to the windy point and I’m going to say goodbye to you. Then I’m going to go to this woman and see if I can win he heart. If I can, I know you’ll bless me and bless us all. If I can’t then I’m still blessed because I’ve had the privilege of loving twice in my life. She gave me that. And if I tell you I love her as much as I loved you, then you’ll know the whole story. Rest in peace, my love.


Garret


(---------- letters from Message In A Bottle, The Movie)